Sunday, August 26, 2012

Baby Shower Faux Pas?

Over the past few weeks, as the news of my uterus turning into a baby-oven has spread, I've been asked twice if I will be having a baby shower (one of those women offering to throw me one), and once had someone mention what they are going to gift to me at my baby shower.

Now, I am not a new mother. I've always associated baby shower's as being a special gathering meant for first-timers in the mothering department. I do not judge those mother's who have had baby shower's for their second, third, or even fourth children, but I'm just stating what I thought baby shower's were intended for.

When I was pregnant with Broden, my second child, I was thrown a baby shower. I wasn't phased by the baby shower questions with him though, because he was mine and Kyle's first child together. We were still pretty new to the marriage boat, and having someone put together a baby shower for us (even though Kyle wasn't present for the shower, I still view it as something that was for the both of us) was very encouraging.

Here's a little background as to where we are at now:

  • This little kidney bean will be Child #3 in our household. 
  • Kyle holds a full-time position as General Manager for a local lighting company. 
  • I am a full-time mom to my children, one of which I currently homeschool. 
  • We are not rolling in the dough, but we're not struggling either. 
  • Our health insurance does not cover anything prenatal. Even if the hospital has to perform certain procedures on me or the baby in the case of an emergency, everything comes out-of-pocket.
  • We thought we were done having children once Broden was born. Therefore, we haven't hung on to much of anything (other than the port-a-crib and the highchair/booster seat, which come in handy when others with little ones come over for a visit).
  • We are looking into taking out a loan to add another room onto our house within the next 6 months to a year to accommodate our growing family.
  • We have reviewed our budget and are adjusting our spending habits accordingly.
  • We fully intended to buy things for this baby as we can afford them, knowing that we would have to do without some things for a while, or even all together.
  • I ate two Jimmy-John's #4 sandwiches with extra tomatoes this afternoon for lunch. I know...I disgust myself.
  • I am currently reading a parenting book. The exact thing I used to roll my eyes at my mother about.
So, my question to you is: is it wrong of me to have a baby shower for the new kidlet? 

I don't want to offend those who have mentioned attending or throwing me a baby shower, but then again, I don't want to come across as greedy.

What are your thoughts?


It's you mother......... said...

My first thought is that this dilemna is what you get for rolling your eyes at your mother!

Here's how I look at it for what it's worth. It's all about your attitude. If you want a shower because you think you are "entitled" to one and just want gifts, then you probably shouldn't have one. However, if you want a shower to celebrate the amazing new life that God has brought to your family, then you should graciously accept the offer. The first child is just as much a gift from God as the others. I know the "shower for only the first child" is a common practice in some social circles so I get it.

There are options for the gift part if that is what's making you uncomfortable because you have the means to provide for yourself. An idea would maybe be to just identify one gift everyone can contribute to and suggest a set amount that is modest, like $10. For those that dislike shopping and struggle with knowing what to get, it makes it easy for them. Or it can simply be a money tree. It's extremely easy! Another suggestion is to ask for no gifts because you are really just wanting to be showered with the love an excitement of a new life. Again, everyone gets to celebrate, but it's easy and cuts any negative comments/thoughts off at the pass. You could also have a "meet the baby" luncheon for after the baby is home and you're settled in, again this doesn't have to be a gift event, it can be a time to spend the people who care about you.

I could ramble on, but I think I've done my mother duty of giving you some thoughts to ponder without telling you what to's in those parenting books!

vfunnygirl said...

It's Varinia, and I say have a shower! Reason 1: Because you didn't hold onto a lot of things and baby things are expensive.
Reason 2: Believe it or not, people love to celebrate and give gifts. It makes them feel that they are part of this very important time in your life. Trust me, people get a good feeling out of giving so it's nice to give them the opportunity.
Reason 3: Baby showers are fun. I used to roll my eyes at them, but it's a great time for women to get together and share stories and support one another.