Monday, April 5, 2010

I love you Zombie Jesus

Happy belated Easter to those of you who celebrate the holiday. Personally, my little family does not. I try my best not to conform to Pagan holidays for fear that judgement day will go something like this:

GOD: Okay, so now that we have covered every time you have cursed and taken My Name in vain, let's move on to those supposed holidays.

ME: Oh shit. Huh! Oops! Please forgive me! Wait...does that count?

GOD: I'm going to ignore that one. Moving on. I see that you chose to use My Name as an excuse to partake in those SINNERS "holidays". You do realize that each and every time you have done so it will count against you right?

ME: Ugh. (with a roll of the eyes)

GOD: Let's see...now let's add these up. (Counting) Shucks. That puts you two tally marks over the maximum allowed to get into My Kingdom with roads paved of gold. And yes, I AM the hardass your husband was trying to warn you about so...SATAN! HERE'S ANOTHER ONE!
Instead, we do Spring Baskets. Laugh it up, but I just can't be that horrible mother who COMPLETELY deprives her children of the holiday-related fun. Unfortunately this year I slacked off a bit. When it dawned on me that I needed to do Spring Basket shopping, the first day of Spring was already gone. And then I completely spaced once again, until Kody said something about it during breakfast yesterday morning. I quickly ran into the bedroom, shredded my new Anthropologie catalog to use as grass, and threw their basket's together. Kody and Vada just got candy, Broden got some plain white onesies and a Monkey bath towel (which is extremely little by the way!).
And Vada succeeded in making me feel like the World's Worst Mom by scolding me for not having us decorate eggs. I don't know if it's real or if it's just in my head, but I have had so much going on lately that I completely forgot about dying eggs. And really, why should I remember that and not remember Zombie Jesus Day?!

Back to yesterday: so after church we scuttled on over to Kyle's Aunt and Uncle's house for brunch and an egg hunt. And guess what happened? Just guess! IT STARTED SNOWING! What the hay?!? Isn't it supposed to be spring?!? Broden picked up his one egg and then we headed back inside to the warmth of their cozy little house. Snow...ugh.

And then, God decided to poop on me some more this morning (probably for bad mouthing the Lord's Day on His sons supposed resurrection day). Kyle got up around 4:30 this morning to make Broden a bottle and he comes back into the bedroom spitting these words: there's about a half inch of snow in the backyard. Curse! Be gone winter! We had fun while it lasted, but Spring is in my life now and I think we're hitting it off pretty well. Sorry. It's not you, it's me. Promise.


As if I didn't already have enough on my plate, Vada has started baseball. That's right folks, my Saturday's from now until May will be booked with baseball games, with practices scattered throughout the weeks. But if I may say, while she is an average catcher, she is a darn good batter! Darn good. Can't wait till her first game.

Broden now officially has two teeth. They are officially through. He is officially done being an officially cranky teething baby...until his others decide to break through. He is also gaining some speed with his crawling. This morning I set him down on our bedroom floor so I could go fill up the dog bowls, and as I walk out of the kitchen into our hallway, BAM!, there he is, two feet out of our doorway crawling towards me. Of course, once he sees me he freezes and starts crying because heaven forbid he should ever have to use his legs when I'm present and fully capable of holding him. Let's see...what else...oh, he loves sucking on lemons, he currently has a double ear infection and his antibiotics seemed to have vanished into thin air because I'm slowly losing my mind, he loves smacking us in the face while we're holding him, he gets SUPER excited to see Vada whenever she's been gone for more than 2 minutes, his favorite color is yellow and he hates it when you talk smack about his mama.

Now for Kody. Mr. Kody Ray McClelland. The Kodster (ok, not so sure anyone actually calls him that). He is laying it down flat. Lemme tell ya. He has been getting AWESOME scores on his history tests, writing some stupendous papers for his english class, being a rad uncle, and does a stinkin' good job at rounding up the garbage on Wednesday nights/Thursday mornings. He is so much more responsible than I was at 16. I was super worried that I was going to have to play that strict thorn-in-the-side guardian who is always yelling at the kid to not break curfew again and to stop spending his lunch money on drugs, but he is so easy. No girls, not in that way. And I'm not afraid to show you what's up if you try to prove me wrong. Actually, I dare you.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I love reading your blogs, you crack me up :)