Wait here while I whip out my planner so as not to forget any important details.
It all starts on the 25th of January (I know, technically not February, but close enough) when Kyle gets a call from his younger brother which ends in him telling Kody to call 911. Their mother, Joni Eileen McClelland, was admitted to the hospital that morning with what we later found out was liver failure. But it took us all morning and a good majority of the afternoon to figure that out. For most of the morning we were told that she was having classic symptoms of a stroke. Oh, and rewind back to that morning, after I dropped the kids off with my dad. I’m on my way to the hospital when I get a call from Kyle telling me that I need to stop by the apartment to pick up Krystal, his moms dog, and take her to our house, then I can head back towards the hospital. So I do just that. This is important for you to know so you can understand later events.
Okay, back to my story: That afternoon, in the midst of worrying about Joni, I had an IUD consult. It went something like this: it works for 5 years (ok), no having to remember to take a pill everyday (great), just as effective as the pill (another great), could dislodge and embed itself into the muscles surrounding the uterus, in this case surgery would be in order (uncomfortable, but worth the risk), costs $565 (WHAT!?!), now lets swab that sucker! Is it wrong that everything sounded perfectly reasonable other than the price?
The following two weeks were crazy. Kody packed up some clothes and other stuff he needed and camped out at our house in the extra bedroom. On the 29th we picked up our puppy that we had waited over a month to bring home. Exciting but very exhausting. Just when we get Broden sleeping through the night in his own room. On the night of the first Krystal bit me over a treat that I gave to our dog Angel, then bit the puppy. That’s when the dog moved from the “Annoying Little Rat” list to the “I Hate That Piece of Shit” list. When I went to the doc the next day to have my infected thumb treated, they automatically reported the bite to Animal Control. A little evil monster inside my heart cackled for a little while, until I later found out that I was going to be the lucky winner to have to take her to the vet for another rabies shot and check up…and pay for it! And on that same doc visit, I received an unpleasant shot in the arm and an additional and even more unpleasant shot in the rear. That dog just pushed mosquitoes, rude/idiotic government employees, and humus out of the way to make it to the top of that “Shit” list. After taking her and Smalls to the vet and having the vet ask why Smalls had so many scabs all over his body, I had had enough. Circa February 26th, Kyle’s sister is now the proud owner of that wonderfully magnificent miniature schnauzer. And since then, my life has been a little easier.
At 3:30am on February 11th, we received a call from Corissa saying that the hospital called to tell her that Joni was crashing. Kyle and Kody quickly booked it over there and I left as soon as my mother made it over to watch the kids. Joni passed away that morning in front of our very eyes. I didn’t know what to do, what to say…when to mention that I was going to pass out from my anxiety…and my empty stomach.
The following couple days we spent our time going through the apartment. I spent most of my time uttering the following phrases: “I don’t want anything”, “That’s up to you”, “Goodwill”, “garbage”, “ask Corissa”, and “That’s intense…like camping”. And as my husband puts it, “I’m pretty sure my mom had stock in Rubbermaid.” No, seriously. The woman had something like 70 Rubbermaid containers in that tiny apartment. Just when you thought she couldn’t have anymore, you opened up a cabinet and it jumped out at you in a big white sheet with two eye holes cut out of it.
Kyle and I went out on the 12th to celebrate our 3rd wedding anniversary, which is technically the 16th, and I had a mini melt down about how I’m horrible at planning our anniversary celebrations, he’s always working, I feel like a single mother of 5 (yes, the dogs count as children), and I’m sick and tired of being left on the outskirts trying to guess what’s going on inskirts. It helped for about 5 minutes.
We were running around like the white rabbit for the rest of the month trying to get everything done that needs to get done when a family member crosses over to the other side. Trust me, you think you know, but if you’ve never been through it, then you really don’t know how hectic, stressful and trying something like this is. Especially when there is a 16 year old boy and no will involved. By the way, we’re slowly morphing into Mad Hatters.
Achievement Award for Character - isn't that fitting
Through all of this I have tried very hard at keeping Vada’s world in tact, but kids have an amazing sense of what’s going on, even when you don’t tell them. I’m finally getting her back into a normal routine, and she’s totally loving having Kody there as her uncle/makeshift big brother. In fact, she pulled the typical Little Sister role the other morning when she came into the garage pouting. “What’s wrong? And where is your sweater?” “KODY HAS BEEN HIDING A WHOLE BOX OF HERSHEY’S FROM ME!” She had gone into Kody’s room looking for her ball and happened upon a package of Hershey’s that kids from school had included in a goodie-bucket for him. I had to do some serious explaining to defend Kody’s honor, because bringing Hershey’s chocolate into the house without Vada knowing about it is a serious offense in these parts. Hershey’s is her cocaine.
On top of all of this, Broden and Kody both caught colds. Kody currently has no health insurance, so he had to make do with over-the-counter meds and my natural remedies such as lemon and honey. Broden’s turned into an ear infection. AND Kody severely sprained his ankle last night. Let's hope everything with his guardianship goes through quickly so we can get him added to our insurance and take him to the doctor.
Then you have drama, drama, drama. Surprise, surprise.
I keep having dreams that I might be pregnant. A period would be welcome at any time now, even though I’ve already had three in the month of February alone. I just realized: that’s more than I should’ve had all year so far. Wow.
Further details to be found in my up and coming autobiography.